Never Split the Difference - book review

A book that impacts me almost daily is called Never Split the Difference. If you judge this book by its cover, you might think it’s an aggressive sales book for business bros who want to push people around. It’s not. 

Three concepts that I employ virtually every day are: 1. to only ask one question at a time in a negotiation, 2. to use empathy in every conversation, and 3. to speak with a calm, pleasant tone. (This is a far cry from a particular self-proclaimed negotiation expert who makes the news too often.)

The author of Never Split the Difference is a former FBI hostage negotiator named Chris Voss. He got his start volunteering at a suicide hotline. Despite the packaging, his book pushes people to listen better, understand their opponent, and show them basic human empathy. Voss shares numerous stories of negotiating with kidnappers and warlords, 

I don’t just use these concepts in business negotiations, to make more money. I use them with friends and family. Once you understand some core concepts of negotiation, you realize negotiation happens every day. It’s not always about trying to get your way. Sometimes it’s about helping a friend see a healthier path they could take, and using good listening, empathy, and a little persuasion to get them to follow that path.