The easy way to think

I am the yardstick! I am the rubric! Measure yourself against me!

The way I communicate is perfectly clear! If you don’t understand me, that’s on you! 

The gross things everyone else does are repulsive! The gross things I do, everybody does!

The things I’m into are cool! The amount of energy I put into them is the exact right amount! One ounce less and you’re lazy! One ounce more and you’re a try-hard! 

The amount I know about world events is the exact amount that should be known! I can’t be expected to know or care any more—I’ve got a life to live! But if you know any less than me, you are ignorant! 

My ever-changing beliefs are changing at the perfect pace! I stay with the times! You’re either late and bigoted, early and crazy, or you’re me!