The weight never leaves you

“It must be told that my second work day is a bust as far as getting into the writing. I suffer as always from the fear of putting down the first line. It is amazing the terrors, the magics, the prayers, the straightening shyness that assails one... A strange and mystic business, writing.” 
–John Steinbeck

John Steinbeck wrote East of Eden. While doing so, he wrote letters to his editor Pascal Covici, which are now chronicled in a book called Journal of a Novel: The East of Eden Letters. It’s a fascinating look into one of America’s great writers, and his creative process to write a great novel. 

The quote above struck me—not only because I see Steinbeck as a literary giant, but because he had published so many incredible books before this. The Grapes of Wrath, Of Mice and Men, The Red Pony, The Pearl, Cannery Row. These all came out before East of Eden, and already made Steinbeck a wealthy, famous man. 

Still, this great author wrestled with “putting down the first line.” We see that Steinbeck, and so many others, battled the resistance. Yet we still expect our conditions to be perfect. We still wait for the day when everything feels right, when inspiration strikes, when the work flows easily. 

That day never comes. As a creative person, the weight never leaves you.