A trick to listen better

I’ve been trying to get better at listening.

It’s one of those things in which, if you feel you’re good at it, you probably aren’t. As a sociable person, I often have to fight the urge to jump in with new ideas that pop into my head in the middle of a conversation. Too many times I’ve seen the life drain out of someone’s eyes because I cut them off while they were still working out an idea.

I stumbled on a little trick to help me become a better listener. If I feel the urge to jump in with an idea, instead, I’ll try to press my tongue against the roof of my mouth and slowly breathe in through my nose. This makes it impossible to speak, while still giving me something to apply pressure to which helps me curb the urge to jump in.

Generally, I think I can keep a pretty straight face while I do it, which helps people feel like they’re being listened to. Otherwise, my eyes would be shifting about and I’d be breathing heavy, like a dog waiting for a treat.

If you’re trying to get better at listening to, give this a try next time. Let me know how it goes.