The reason money conversations are so weird
Just now, I took a walk around the block to clear my head. On my walk, I witnessed two men in an argument about the ethics of their businesses. I live pretty close to Dodger Stadium in Los Angeles. Before each home game, four or five resellers line my street to sell bootleg Dodgers merch to people headed into the game. These guys were bootleggers.
From what I gathered, one man was angry at the other for a stolen sale. It sounded like he was about to sell someone merch, when the other guy swooped in and sold his merch to the customer instead. The other guy didn’t see it that way. Their shouts faded into the distance as I continued my walk, so I didn’t hear how to argument ended.
It struck me that even in unsanctioned, unofficial, guerilla-style business, there are still ethics and a status quo. One man thought the other broke an unwritten rule, so he confronted him.
Part of the reason money conversations are so weird is because they’re tied to identity and social acceptance. If we were robots, we could talk to our clients and colleagues plainly about money. We could line up the spreadsheets, add up the numbers, and make easy decisions. Instead, we agonize over money conversations because we don’t want to upset the status quo. We don’t want to be ostracized from the community for breaking an unwritten rule.
It’s important to understand the unwritten rules in your industry. Ask for advice. Make some mistakes. Apologize and make things right. It’s important to understand that when people get emotional about money, they’re really getting emotional about their identity.
